The Don Ed Hardy branding idiocy apparently continued with this line of "celebrity" energy drinks. Like the rest of the Ed Hardy shit, it too has been relegated to the discount stores. This time at your local Big Lots.

that probably everybody could agree on...



in Tuscaloosa.

With the help of alli, Wynonner Judd started shitting uncontrollably; now you can too!

The Beulah is not dead, although she has felt for a week that she might have contracted SARS or something horrible. Dealing with a cold and trying to get her life in some sort of order back at home with no job has been a little much.

Still trying to digest the New Mexico stuff. Uncertain whether it will be a blog entry or a gd best selling novel.

We also see that we have returned to the still-resounding chorus of "Durch Adams Fall ist ganz verderbt." Although, I don't like the mayoress' politics, I think it's time to move on. Like an incessant bottomless-pit school tax, she was elected by our neighbors, so we must deal with the next years. Surely with a recession on, she can't do too much damage. Else we will have to sell the house and get out.

Since you all know that I've never been a big fan of Portland's new Mayoress Extraordinaire, seeing this blog entry will not be a big shock to you. You see, I call myself a local fiscal republican. I don't like being taxed into the black hole. That's my beef with the mayoress. Pet projects. As far as her personal life, though, as the Lady Chablis says: "I don't even know that bitch."

This latest 'predicament' she's gotten herself into -- what do you call the male-male version of a cougar anyway? -- I really don't have any judgment on the thing itself. More that she's playing sloppy politics. You either come clean in the beginning or stick with your original story, or you lose credibility. Pretty simple.

But like Cora Hoover Hooper, she and her town, they just wanna be loved. Loved hard and hot. But "a friendship is lovely, a courtship sublime, but give her a township...every time!

**Coming soon -- Beulah's rewrite of the musical "Anyone Can Whistle" reworked and retitled "Anyone Can Blow"

Well, I haven't had much time to blog lately. I'm saving up all of my New Mexico impressions for one overall blog, I think. But since the inauguration this morning, I've needed to add my comments. Let's see. There was Rick Warren's endless invocation. I didn't know that man was so, um, well, that he had so much presence. He almost gave ReRe a run for her money. Though, when she came on stage with that HAT -- a big bow, sort of like a Happy Birthday Mr. President bow on top of a silver Lincoln Continental -- I swear she was shaking the stage, because the camera picture was moving. After she sang, I had visions of her going backstage and getting in a throw down fight with Rick Warren over a ham, or whatever refreshment they might have had. Purpose Driven Eating.

Part 1: First Impressions

Lord this place is RU-RAL. Yeah, there are your sophisticated artsy types, but mostly this is small town America, but not really small town America. It's a culture of its own. I really don't know how Miss Flossie Jean makes it out here -- definitely being an outsider. But really, the place is full of outsiders, and I'll be doing some character sketches.

The one that stands out from the weekend is the Pueblo Princess. She is what I've taken to referring to as a two-spirit person. Bascially a native American drag queen. When I first met her on the street, she was wearing a long black cape with a hood, probably to hide the fact that she pours herself into her clothes. Flossie told me that she works at a coffee shop downtown and that, usually, she dons a set of Lee press-on nails. Fortunately she did not have them on this weekend. Later that evening, we went to the bar. Sort of the alterna-bar, where the ten gay people in town hang out with all of the ski-bums and ski-bunnies from California. We had to wait in line to get into this place, if you can believe that, dear readers. The PP came to wait in line as well, and introduced some marginally unattractive skinny male person as her 'partner'. When told she would have to wait in line, she said they would go in the back of the line and 'make their own fun'. They made their own fun when they got in the bar as well, flopping on a couch and practically having relations right there as everyone watched. It was dis-gust-ing. I'm sure you'll be hearing more from this one.

Well, I'm going to try to find something to do. There's 14" of snow on the ground this morning, so I suspect going into town will be limited. A bless day to all. The mountain is starting to speak to me...

US News reports that teenagers who take a virginity pledge are just as likely to have premarital sex than those who don't take such a pledge.

Really. That's shocking.

I just saw a grotesque movie called "Teeth" about this goody-goody virginity pledging girl whose vag turned out to have teeth. It bit off 3 members and a gynechiatrist's digits.

I saw this ad on the web. It really looks like he's trying to give her breasts a good feel. Now doesn't he know those are solely for feeding the offspring?